Panicking

Hello, 

So, I decided that having days off are not so great! I sit and think about the future, further panicking about jobs, and living. I honestly, have no idea what I am doing come the end of June. That is only a month and a week away! 

I have applied to numerous jobs, in relation to my degree, but I get rejection after rejection, or no reply at all. My partner doesn't know what he is doing either, and has only just started applying for a couple of teaching jobs. But it's a bit late, he might not get a response until mid June, or beginning of July. 

When people ask me, why haven't you got a job in science then? How am I supposed to answer? I'm not good enough for any job, that's why I don't have one, or keep getting rejections! Why can't people just be happy that I have a job, even if it is just a waitress. 

At the moment, my main goal is to have any job, to earn enough money to live off. It's not ideal, but it is the best that I can do. But people around me are getting decent graduate jobs, and I am stuck in a rut, not knowing what to do come the end of my lease, and my partners contract ending. 

Korea plans have fallen down the hole. I have applied to about 15 jobs, and NOT ONE has responded. I was really hoping Korea would work out, but I'm pretty sure that we are not getting replies because of me. I am Asian, and Hagwons don't like hiring Asians. That and we are looking for couple positions...even harder to place. 

Even if I do get to the interview stage, I ball them up due to being too nervous. What was the point in doing my degrees. I feel like I have wasted 5 years of my life.  

I am worried in case I am homeless by the end of June. I don't want to move back home. I want to be independent. 

Until I know what is happening, I can't settle. I keep having horrible thoughts about being out of pocket, and no where to live.